I haven't read through your whole situation, so not sure what you & H are still sharing a house, but he is certainly treating you with extreme disrespect. I cam imagine it would be infuriating he had a girl over smoking together in his room with you right there in the house. Not sure what I would've done, but good for you for showing restraint. The actions we desire to take in those circumstances often feel good only for a short time and then we regret them.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21