Verbally Abusive

[BL42]

CathyC,

We do not have any children (neither of us)

This is good in some ways - it will make it easier to detach.

I DO feel broken right now. As far as therapy, I continue to go. I made the appointment for us and he didn't show up. I continued to go without him. She is now "my" therapist and would refuse to see "us".

That's good! Continue to go to individual counseling (IC) to help you through this difficult time and work on areas of improvement for yourself. When people say counseling doesn't work they're talking about marriage counseling (MC) with both parties when one isn't committed to working on the relationship.

I am desperately seeking advise and comfort to know that I am not alone because some days, I REALLY feel that way.

Post on here a lot, even if it's just to journal. It'll help to read others' situations and progressions through their sitches, and even just getting a post from someone on your thread will give you a boost.

I have a good network, but many are mutual friends and I don't want to necessarily reach out or talk about it with them because I don't want them to feel like they are choosing sides.

Glad you have a good network. Navigating the "sides" can be difficult.

The friends I have talked to have all said get out now........but I feel like it is always easy for people to say that with no regard to what YOU want.

Others more removed from the situation than you may be able to see things you don't. That said, don't let them make decisions for you. Ultimately it's your life.

I feel like I need to do the whole 180, but you guys are right..........I fear then that I WILL lose him for good because he will think, oh well, she doesn't care.

Or...might he start to wonder if he'll lose you?

I am exhausted. I have struggled with this failing marriage for several years seriously thought that I would be the one to ask for the divorce.

If you've thought and wanted a divorce yourself, what is scaring you about it now and making you hold on? Could it be simply because it's not you making the decision?