Girl friend - you need a break. And some single girlfriends.
You're an awesome mom. And I'm sorry your ex is so useless, but then we knew that, right?
3 1/2 years seems like a long time but it'll be gone before you know it. Then you'll have some options - like selling your house and taking the equity to a less expensive housing market, or becoming a traveling nurse and making better money, or just working shifts again.
You do sound depressed, and please make sure you're taking your meds if you have them, and taking some supplements that can help. Find a way to do some self care. Take a sick day as a mental health day if you need to. Plan something to look forward to for you. Start thinking about groups or activities you might want to get involved in in the future that could be more promising in terms of getting to know people. Make a vision board.
