Fierce compassion, equanimity, integrity #3

[DnJ]

Hello cardinal

I am glad to read you feel calmer and better. We were online at the same time last night and I was agitated just reading about the shenanigans. Well done in living it!

I deleted a last night post that had words like floozy, betrayal, and such. And probably would have lead to yelling. I think your method yielded better results. Lol.

Is there as much power in not caring (if I can get there) as there is in addressing the situation with him, letting him know I feel disrespected, coming to a roommate agreement of upfront notice, masking in common areas, etc? But isn’t that what normal roommates do, not MLCers?

There is power in indifference, which is different than “not caring”.

The power is not in being able to force H do behave, it is how you behave. What you allow to bother you. In that light, there is more power in indifference than trying to address H in the situation.

Getting a MLCer to do something is like herding cats. MLCers are not a normal roommate, as you well know.

Boundaries are good, telling him he is being disrespectful is good. Those are for you and your mental/emotional health; not a way to get or force him to behave a certain way.

I sense the better choice is to stay the course, say nothing, let him tire eventually…

A pretty good plan. Unless you choose something.

I was so close, though! About to send off the new lease with just my name on it the day he told me he wasn’t moving.

You control you.

You could move out and leave him the place.

I realize that is not option number one. However, oftentimes knowing you do have other options can provide strength and resilience to continue. It’s odd, how that knowledge of other choices removes the feeling of defeat from been stuck in a situation, to one of perseverance to see it through.

Does he have a new proposed date of leaving?

D