I can totally relate to the triggers Ginger [and your OLD experiences]. Whenever my XH texts me, he always says “we” and it occurs to me that he and I stopped being “we” years ago when he started creating a second life for himself. If he had been half as dedicated to our partnership and our family as he seems to be to his new one, I know we would have had a really good shot at making it. It is hard not to take that personally…to wonder why they couldn’t be that person for us. I wasn’t perfect. No one is. But… I know that nothing I did or did not do could ever justify the choices he made and the stress and worry he put me and our children through so it is not and never has been about me. It is the same for you and your ex. The choices he made back then were about him and not about you. You are more than enough.

With respect to your financial situation and the man situation. Sorry things are so rough. I know this has been a long, hard road for you. All I can say is please do not give up hope that things will change. Stay open to possibilities and follow your gut. It is amazing, when the right person and/or the right opportunity comes along, how quickly things can turn around.

I’m with the others regarding the guy you went out with. There must have been some kind of chemistry for you to have enjoyed yourself so much. Maybe worth a second meeting?? If not a romantic one, perhaps a friend one? You never know… he may not be your person but maybe befriending him would lead you to meeting your person. I’m in a similar situation. The guy I just went out with is exactly what I was looking for on paper and while there wasn’t a huge amount of romantic chemistry, I think there was enough to warrant getting to know him better. In the past, I might have run away because I’m not “sure” about my feelings but honestly, I’m not sure about most things these days. Why should this be any different? He is definitely the cream of the crop, so to speak, when it comes to the other guys I have dated post divorce…including the two guys I had a relationship with. So I’m giving it every chance to work out.

Anyway…sending you big hugs my friend. You are not alone. We’ve all “got you”. I know that’s not the same but perhaps it will suffice until your person makes his appearance. He is out there Ginger. I know he is.