Okay Tim, I've got page 339, bullet points two and three. #2. "Stop trying to make your partner listen accept and validate you. Validate yourself." It also says that even when your observations about your partner are accurate, they may reflect that this observation is most relevant and timely to your own development." So, are you saying that I might be the one who is afraid to make myself vulnerable? I don't get this. I feel vulnerable every time the subject turns to sex with her, because I feel like she's going to get angry and have an outburst (as her way of being defensive and of deflecting the "blame" for our sexless marriage onto me. So, you may need to explain that one to me a bit more specifically.
Bullet #3 says "Keep your mouth shut about your partner's issues--particularly concerning things you're certain are true." I understand this. I shouldn't tell her that I think she's afraid to have sex with me because she feels she can't "measure up" to my standards. Let her figure that out for herself. Is that what you were getting at?
Hairdog - who thinks he's pretty smart, except when it comes to this relationship stuff.
