Be careful. Pass/fail is a difficult metric. As in, how many times did he pass? A couple of thousand?
We tend to accumulate negative or failure data, while the positive or pass data is somewhat not accurately tallied. And we tend to weight negative much more than the overlooked positive events.
Look to the overall journey. Do not focus upon data points; it’s more the overarching trend.
Follow your slow to change beliefs. These are your values and guides in your life. They keep you stable and centered, even when events around you are not. (Ha, my life at this very moment.)
Boundaries are also for you (and kids). Predetermined, and usually stated, actions you will take if G does <specific action>. Boundaries are not a behaviour modification tool; that must come from within the person themselves. Boundaries are clear accountability for someone’s actions.
G’s willingness to an agreed upon word to signify he is about to (or has) stepped over the line - I’m impressed. If he is sincere, and from my view he is, that shows trust and respect of you. For he is listening to your assessment of his behaviour, and working to modify it based upon that feedback. That is pretty cool.
Back slides are common. All forward progress has components of backwards motion. In that viewpoint, backslides are necessary, and therefore not backwards at all. Hence, why pass/fail is so difficult to grade in such situations. G unmet his obligation. G has consequences. G is accepting of that and pledging to do better.
You are on a rare path. I truly do hope the best for you. Continue to, and always do, stand for you.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
