LH, I sincerely believe H is living in Fantasy Land, much less than he used to but still is. I however definitely do not live there but I acknowledge the fact why you say this. I'm fully aware that I have the power in my own hands and I will use it when I don't see improvements anymore.
Ginger, Yes, I talk a lot to my 3 S's about the whole situation and they are very honest about their feelings. They struggle with his behavior, definitely the way how he acted last Friday. The strength however they have shown at that moment was incredible. Afterwards I talked to them and they don't want him to go as yet, because they see the difference between the past 7 weeks and the 3 years before that. It is however something that I must watch very closely and yes, you are right, children should never have to see abusive behavior towards their mother. He would never hurt me physically but mentally he has gone too far last friday. This cannot happen anymore and I have been very strict about that.
As D mentioned, I asked him that when he feels his anger and/or resentment is raising, or when I see it is coming up we will use one word which we agreed together, this way he knows he needs to just stop the conversation, go out of the house for a walk or go to his room, simply away from the place where the feelings araised. I hope this will help for the time being.
