Happy New Year! I hope all are well. I do not have any major updates. My H has been back in the M for almost 7 years. Feels like so long ago that things were messy, that he came back and that he initially left me for her. And so we carry on now. We have a nice home and family and we both add to that in different ways. I feel content in my M and with my day to day life. GAL comes naturally for me now. I know we really shove that down each others' throats here and I get that in my work life as well. Self care! It can be hard to know what that means or even how to enjoy it. I think it's a two part process of "take action" and "feeling motivation to take action" and sometimes one might proceed the other and at times in reverse.
I've started stand-up paddling and also enrolled in a (running) race with my youngest. I really enjoy new physical activities and also my alone time equally. I am not sure I could have said that before my H BD'd me. I used to be wound tight and needy when he was around. I still have stress/anxiety but I have learned to manage them in healthier ways. I think we are better partners now but also better humans. Something about fighting your way out of a sh1tstorm can do that for you. You have to like yourself if you expect someone else to. Its stupidly obvious but I think I overlooked that for years because I was just trying to stay afloat in a stressful life.
I have found that moving away from actively piecing and just simply living works better for me. We have our moments of closeness and also I enjoy space apart, and I welcome both. There is a lot of emphasis on the boards about frequently nurturing a M and I don't disagree. Like any R, it must be cared for and attended to frequently. I also think it's just as important to nurture other Rs in your life and especially the one with yourself. I have come to genuinely enjoy time with my children one on one more than ever and also time with my friends. I wish I had more to share about my M, but I don't. Some days it's hard. We are just fine most days. That is all.
Hope all are well! Blu
Last edited by BluWave; 01/24/2210:00 PM.
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
