Hairdog's weekend

[eyesopened]

Yes, she's basically withholding to punish me...and she's punishing me based on what she thinks is going on in my head...and really, what this is all about is that she feels she cannot adequately address my sexual (read, "animalistic") urges either in frequency, in level of passion, or in (excuse me for saying this) skill. As I've said before, she is a perfectionist and is successful at most everything she does. She doesn't think she's very good at sex, and this is so personal that she would rather not even try to improve than put herself on the line and make herself so vulnerable.

Hairdog,
Your wife may like Lou Paget's book, How to Be a Great Lover, Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Totally Explicit Techniques that will Blow His Mind (you can find it at amazon.com and most other bookstores). She's a sex educator (accredited by American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists) who got into this when she tried to find a good source of information for herself but couldn't find one for women.

A gay friend taught her a manual technique in a restaurant using a spoon, which she later named Ode to Bryan (you won't be able to do it on yourself unless you're extremely doublejointed since you can't get your thumbs in the right position). She, in turn, showed it to her friends who had great success with it and shared other techniques. She then went from learning and sharing techniques with friends to teaching seminars (fully clothed), and finally to writing books (there's one written for men called How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure).

I think your wife might like it, too, because Paget writes as a mature, sophisticated, and worldly woman. Her books are very tastefully done, friendly, but explicit with step by step directions and line drawings (NO photos). Unlike other books, hers isn't mostly limited to different positions (she says there are really only 6 basic positions) but covers kissing, manual techniques, oral techniques, positions, etc. Her seminar participants include high-powered executives and professionals who want to be as successful in this area as they are in other areas.

Finally, as far as feeling vulnerable, Paget explains how to practice solo, but I found it much more fun and relaxing for my husband to hold the book and read me the directions for different manual and oral techniques. It was a lot of fun with a lot of laughter (this was back when we were able to have "lunch" together at the house once a week while the kids were in school) with no pressure or embarrassment. And, the fun thing is that you can then go on to make your own combinations and variations.

I may be LD when it comes to physical drive, but I take a lot of pride in being very skillful at LM (I'm also a bit of a perfectionist and was often first or second in high school, college, and job-related classes). I was already quite skillful and very confident thanks to a former lover who was very skillful, experienced, and a very good teacher (hmm, writing that makes me realize even more how disappointed and cheated my husband must have felt when our LM diminished after marriage) , but Paget's book gave us a lot of new and fun and very successful techniques to add to our repertoire. It's the best how-to manual for women with step by step directions that I've found and it has a permanent place in my nightstand.