Could you explain your H's work situation? How long has he been / will he be abroad? Has this bene a regular thing, or a one-off? Why did you relocate away from family and friends right before his work travel? Any chance you could move back to have more support with your son and for yourself?
Doesn't sound like H's family modeled a healthy conflict resolution. Wonder if that's happened a lot between the two of you over the last 15+ years?
I'm still nervous about sharing too much information, but here goes: He is in the military and abroad for a year. This is a one-off for him. The military is also the reason why we have moved a lot these last few years (and have no real support network). My family lives in another country. Legally, I cannot move back without permission from my h. In addition, my son receives the services he needs where we are now, which also makes me very reluctant to leave.
Overall, it feels like I have little control over my own life and little room to make changes.
BL42, overall, over the years, his method of conflict resolution (not saying anything) has indeed caused us great difficulties, mainly lots of underlying resentment. After mc, however, things were better. The fact that he's currently not communicating could be a) him resorting to old habits or b) having no interest in repairing things. His actions lately make me think it's the first.
I think that when I said my intention was to remain in the marriage, he assumed things were "fixed." I feel the need to elaborate by adding that my 'intent to remain in the marriage doesn't mean things are 'fixed.' For me, it means that I am willing to work towards trust and connection again.
