I tend to agree with Tim, you have been doing this for 2-3 ish months and it doesn't seem to have changed anything in the R. It seems to me that the more you sit back the more she builds her wall that everything you are doing is wrong.
Why does it have to be a struggle that if you get what you want she loses something. Because that is the way that it sounds from what you have written. Seems to me that it is a marriage not a war.
