R2C: If CB did mean constant badgering, then no, I haven't figured out the solution yet. I haven't had a chance to practice. I guess, I hope I never have to come up with a solution - because that means I'm never badgered again.
OnlyBent: Thanks. Having read back through my journal going back to 12/2020 I can see a significant change. I started here in 11/2019 I think. I can only imagine what that would read like. I started with a Divorce Busting coach in 7/2018. I remember in 11/2020 talking to my DB coach and he asked me "What will it take for Brad to have enough?!" I know his job was to help me figure out how to keep it together, but I think in that moment he was giving me a clue.
I also scheduled a session some time ago with an author of another book who pulled no punches and said my STBEx was a spoiled brat.
I'm now reading a book called "Heartbreak" recommended to me by my IC. One of my biggest take aways from that book is how our childhood impacts our later relationships - specifically, I was used to getting a lot of negative attention from my mom as a kid growing up. That set me up to kind of be used to that kind of treatment from a "loving relationship." The book also basically outlined me as being co-dependent and needing to learn to relate differently and better for myself and others.
I guess that will be some of the continued work. It makes me feel weak and kind of like a wimp to admit co-dependency, but I guess as they say, recognition and ownership are the first steps.
