The issue is that if she never left, I just don't think she ever would have changed. And therefore things would have just gotten worse and worse. She was so bought into the fact that I was the problem that she just didn't look at herself at all.
Why would she change? No incentive.
Originally Posted by ScottB
I think Steve nails it on that point when he says "if my spouse had been unwilling to change or work on things, then I can honestly say that I would have been better off D'd than trying to hang on."
Yep. You don't know it in think of it because you think what you are going through and putting up with is normal.
Originally Posted by ScottB
That's hard to accept when you are in the fight, but with time and space you, if you think on it - what if we stayed together and she never owned any of it? what if she didn't change? - you can see how horrible it could become.
Yep. That's why going the other way is the best option. You are taken out of the equation right away. If you would have D'd her when you first found her cheating you probably would have reconciled by now if you wanted to.
