BL42: It is surreal. It feels disordered. I watch mom's walking there kids down my sidewalk and I miss that wholesomeness. The issue is that if she never left, I just don't think she ever would have changed. And therefore things would have just gotten worse and worse. She was so bought into the fact that I was the problem that she just didn't look at herself at all.
I think Steve nails it on that point when he says "if my spouse had been unwilling to change or work on things, then I can honestly say that I would have been better off D'd than trying to hang on." That's hard to accept when you are in the fight, but with time and space you, if you think on it - what if we stayed together and she never owned any of it? what if she didn't change? - you can see how horrible it could become.
My IC also referred me to a new book to read - he said it was short - called Detach or Die, haha. I'll let you know how it goes.
