tired

[lostlove]

So do you think guys like our h's like the "chase" and that us being loving and available to them feels boring or something?

not completely but kinda. I do recall that when I met my h (mind you I was but a mere 16) I was aloof and just taking guys for what they were (my little heart had already been broken and I was pretty independant...had a hard time allowing someone to open doors for me) I think h liked that. Plus of course it is true that people want what they have to work to get. Thus the term "playing hard to get".

I just can't figure this out but, like I said, the experiment is working so I will continue to monitor it and see if he gets tired of it.

My worry is more that I will grow tired of it (or truly no longer be experimenting but just not care) than that he will.

Btw, I did manage to chill out re: the kids and I told him thank you for helping me to calm down. (usually all he does is get me more riled up) But he really did calm me down, once I opened my earballs and started listening to him, that is

Excellent!!!

He never does ANYTHING for himself,

oh dear, our h's are more similar than I thought. about the only thing my h does for himself is during football season. He's a season ticket holder. Other than that ...it's work, sleep, work in the yard, sleep, watch some sports on tv, sleep.

The OW...there had to be more than just being nice.....? I mean, what is that?
Have you ever asked him, or is it too touchy a subject?

Of course I asked him and what I got was...

she was nice
she went to bat for him (regarding the other customers on a billing issue)
oh and of course the kicker...she got sick (supposed terminal cancer with a 7-15 year talked to several cancer specialist and they had never heard of giving someone such a time line) and that interested him because he had never "known" anyone who was ill like that (mind you shortly before I discoverd the a (wich btw is still claimed to be only and ea) his own cousin passed away at (40) of cancer. Infact it was his driving her to one of her cancer treatments that outed the a. They were seen in the elevator by one of my family friends who was there on her anual remission check up.

Let's see...

she used to hang out with bil and his friends (who worked for h and therefore her)
she used to invite them all to her christmas parties (I was never taken, not even when I was the wife and expressed how insulting it was to me to not be brought)
she used to bake cookies for bil at christmas.
she used to make the "guys" lunch when they worked there.
I once overheard a message on the business line her requesting some work and letting the "guys" know they could take a swim in her pool.
there house was brand new when h started the work there so he built it up for them from dirt...created a play area, vb court, preped an area for their pool etc. she made a poster with before and after pics that said "(h's name) get's it done) gag!! (I found that at the shop tucked behind some crap when I went there on a tirade after he finally came home and ended it.)
she was childish, signed the few letters I found 1436, wich I believe means I love you forever but I'm not in highschool any more so don't really know.
she was I believe petite where I am a sexy 5'8
she's a bleach blond where I am NOT
as quoted (second hand) by bil she's not pretty she's just sweet.
so anything else?
basically she was someone who adored him, thought he was just great and was a cheerleader. You know that woman who knows no boundaries...for christ sake she was married and having one of the landscapers over to dinner every week (bil)
add in the fact that she lived 5 minutes from his shop and working area so it was easy.

not much of a list and not much that I myself didn't do (and then some) for him so I don't know what to make of it. I still say it should have been me to have the a (if anyone ever SHOULD) but I didn't have the luxury of landscapers working in my yard to swoon and I know what boundaries are..you make them lunch and walk away, you don't sit down and tell them you have cancer and boo hoo them. But that's me...I'm not the ignorant little twit that almost help to ruin my childrens lives (oi' am I still bitter? no really I feel bad for her...she's got a lot of growing up to do and aparently not much time. that wasn't nice either...where's the devil icon when you need one?

Like today when I got to play amateur plumber cause D2 stuffed an entire roll of TP down the toilet..

a roll of toilet paper? that's nothing...ever tried getting one of those new fancy tootpaiste dispensers out of the toilet once it's been lodged down there. Good thing I know how to handle the plyers.

I love the traveling email that describes a house in shambles with the kids running amuck..the h ariving home to find his w laying in bed and asking her what went on there that day...her response...you know how you ask me everyday what I did all day? well today I didn't do it.
or better yet the hat I just say at the mall...having children is like being pecked to death by a duck.

Hope you had a good night!

had to run to the mall to pick up my credit card left it behind when purchasing daddy day gifts. Of course I had to put dd to bed before I could go .

LL