Hey LL, I have been doing a little experiment in my life that you may be interested in. My H is very similar to yours, in that he is wiped out at the end of the day and has nothing left to give me. Also I feel VERY lonely and left behind being here with little kids all day and he can't be bothered to check in with me.
So I have been making the first move, every day. And I force myself to be cheerful and appealing. I hate to say it....as Journey from the SSM forum pointed out, it is very 50's sitcom...but it is working! He is really responding to the new and improved Honey.
So it occurred to me that HE likes to be chased, too. I think that we are actually closer in our wants and needs from each other than opposites, as I had previously thought. It's just that we both want to be chased and seduced. So we sit back and wait for the other to do it and it turns into a mexican standoff. And I end up pissed and even lonelier. He tolerates the standoff MUCH better than I do, but that is his nature.
Have you ever tried anything like that? Make the first move every day in contacting him, and do it cheerfully. Keep the contact going throughout the day, if you are able to. Then give him a cheery greeting when he comes home, etc.
You know, it sounds ridiculous but here's what has happened in the last week in my house. I did this for THREE days with no real change from H. Then on the fourth day he started responding better at night. By the fifth day, HE was calling me first thing in the morning. The weekend arrived and he was fairly attentive (not a small feat in my house). Then yesterday (monday) he emailed me first thing in the morning and when I didn't respond--hadn't checked them--he called to see if I was ok!!
I have no illusions about this lasting forever...been down that road with him...but I do realize the power of my good mood. And boy am I reaping the benefits. He has been so nice and helpful with kids and house, as well as sexually attentive.
Say prayers for me that the experiment continues to work well...
That reminds me, I need to send ol' boy an email this morning before I turn into a total slacker.
