instead of making contious idle threats that one day when he suddenly has the time to spend with me I wont be around or have the desire...just stop being around and available. My only problem with that is..in the past when I have taken such action, though it makes my life fuller it does little to change the m sit as he just takes it as a relief "ah well she's being entertained now I don't have to feel any guilt or hear anything about not spending time with her".
