Well, I’m with G on this one - and I don’t have any self esteem issues. When a guy comes on too strong before he even knows anything about me, it can be a turn off. If feels like either they’re in fantasyland or they only want to get laid - but it doesn’t make a woman feel seen. Compliments are fine but they should be in line with an interest in getting to know you.
Bad examples: “you’re so hot”, “I’m in bed thinking about you (before we’ve even met)”
Good examples: “you’re beautiful, I’d like to get to know more about you”. “ That’s interesting that you (work as a nurse, rock climb, play drums, whatever). What is that like?”
Maybe some are just desperate guys who think their “Me horny. You horny?” approach is seductive. But I think most women have pretty good radar for who has a genuine interest in getting to know them versus who is just casting a wide, random net hoping some woman will drop their panties.
Mind you, it’s different once you’re in a relationship. I love it when a guy I’m sleeping with tells me I’m hot. But as an opening salvo - nope.
