On her being unhinged or a lunatic - nah, I'm not going back through it. Bottomline, reading back through everything continues to let me know that its healthiest for it to end and for me to move on.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
One day you'll look back and realize she did you a favor.
I've heard a lot of people say this both online and in real life - LBS's who look back years later with perspective and realize how much better off and happier they are then years prior (even though while in the midst of the situation they can't imagine that). I guess time will tell. I also wonder if they can really know that, or maybe if both parties had been willing to work through it they could've been just as happy in their marriage. But, as is pointed out here, that's not up to us.
BL, you make a good point. But the problem is that you cannot control your spouse. In my case, if my spouse had been unwilling to change or work on things, then I can honestly say that I would have been better off D'd than trying to hang on. MR 1.0 was not working for either of us. The LBS sometimes looks pre-BD with rose colored glasses about how wonderful things were, yet in most cases they were pretty miserable themselves. So yes, IF the WAS is willing to change/work on things then maybe it would be hard to know that. However, in a lot of cases the WAS is done and walking away no matter what the LBS does. That is untenable, and eventually the LBS, after having moved forward and found their own happiness then they can look back and say it was for the best.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
