Glutton for punishment

[LH19]

I have a unique look and you either don’t like it or you love it. And sometimes it gets creepy.

I don't think your look is unique other then you have amazing eyes.

And I think the types I attract, I am generally not attracted to. Makes things weird.

This is interesting because I truly believe like attracts like.

But one of them was cute, not classify sexy, but we had a fire chemistry . He’s the one I wish could have worked .

Why didn't it work?

I have the same sentiment as bttfly. All these creepy people . It’s not a matter of having a positive attitude or “nexting” them. It’s just becomes so cringe worthy after a while. I wouldn’t want to be groped or lewdly talked to by 99 men but 1 treats me like a lady.

I still think Bumble eliminates 90% of the creeps but maybe I am wrong.

Hiking guy is Another example. He’s been very forward about his interest in dating me and his attraction to me which he gathered from a little FB profile picture. It’s making me un easy as well. So maybe it’s not OLD. Just men in my age range trying to date? He appears to be in his 50’s. He’s not inappropriate , just very forward.

It's not online dating it's men just don't generally know how to act. They were in loveless, sexless relationships for years. They will hear reasons for D from their Ws were "you never told me I was beautiful". This sticks in their mind so they use it when trying to date a woman. Honestly I think half the guys you ladies classify as creepy just have no game. My BF hasn't dated in 15 years and I watched him try to pick up a girl this summer and it made me cringe. Not a creep just no game. You hate the coach but he teaches until it becomes natural you should only comment on a girls dress, eyes, etc.

I am not in a place to feel comfortable around men with romantic interest. Honestly, this has never happened to me and I’m sad it has come here. I’m 41 and should not have to feel I have horny teenage boys after me .

So yes coming out of long term marriages as Wayfarer says for both men and women you need to go through a ho phase. Stick to your guns NO MEN NOT DIVORCED AT LEAST TWO YEARS.

Her friends mom took D and her friend for snowboarding lessons this weekend. So out of my child’s comfort zone. But she didn’t hate it! And it was $180 and the mom wouldn’t let me pay her…… she thanked me for all I do for her daughter . It’s too much really. So I’m just going to take them to a water park on Presidents’ Day to pay them back.

That's a great way to reciprocate.

And what makes me happy these days. D has a C in biology and is not a C student. I told her this time I am studying with her ( she wouldn’t let me last time and that resulted in a D on her test) science is my jam. So we went to the gym together and after dinner we started studying for Thursday’s test. We had fun doing it and she actually said “wow, mom, that really helped, thank you” we will study tomorrow and she goes to her dads the night before her test and I told her to study with her dad. She said “ I don’t have to, I’ll study alone” I said “you want to study on together in FaceTime? ( just me and her, not her dad ) and she actually said yes! First she not for too long because I barely see my dad. I said we can study before he gets home from work. I have a feeling she’s going to ace this test.

Good stuff!

I do believe I’m a catch. I don’t know what’s going wrong. But I don’t think it is on my end. I just attract creeps.

That certainly is an easy way out. Like Don with OLDing. It's not me it's platform.

And honestly, the only real pain I feel from all of this is the financial implications.

Hmmmm. I wonder if you are being honest?

What gets creepy about the men who are physically attracted to me is that they don’t stop mentioning it.

Again he thinks it's what you want to hear.

I get men are visual creatures. But when we barely have connected on other level and you keep mentioning how attractive I am I just think “I know where this is going !” It gets uncomfortable.

Where is it going?

Part of it may be my defenses are up from the gross men.

Yes!

Part of it may be that I was not attractive until maybe 17/18. I always relied on my personality which I think is my best feature! Also, when my ex was telling me he was leaving me , I was 6 months post partum not feeling my most beautiful . He wouldn’t tell me why he was leaving and k had to keep guessing. I said “is it the pregnancy weight?!?” And his response was “no, I still think you are hot” and that Made me feel like he hated who I was as a person.

Or he's just a dumbass narcistic fuch

As far as interest in me. I like it. It doesn’t turn me off. When it just so forward with the constant physical comments like I said, I do get uncomfortable.

Do you tell them it makes you uncomfortable?

I get scared to meet the person. And yes! Don, that is what I’m thinking. “He doesn’t even know me, how can he be so into me?!!”

He's not he is saying what he thinks you want to hear.

Maybe if we had a chance to connect and really talk and get to know each other I would understand why he would be excited to meet me. I would be excited too!

Ask him.

But someone is overly excited without knowing jack [censored] about me, that makes my hair stand up

And it's a scientific fact women are more attracted to a man who's feelings are unclear.

I do like dad bods. They say “I work out but I can still enjoy beer and wings. Just like me, my body says “I work out, but I still enjoy beer French fries and ice cream” I totally like a guy who isn’t obsessed with his body, but takes care of it and still enjoys some of the good things in life in moderation.

I thought a dad bod was pear shaped with man boobs? That's attractive?

I hope that my point of view helps men date.

It does. So does reading 3% man.

I may be a little extra jaded.

Most def!

My geographical location doesn’t help. It’s a very populated one, but when the pool is very big, that doesn’t always help.

Studies show that when there are too many choices it's hard for people to decide.

My age range is a bunch of newly divorced men who are free from one partner they had for the last 15-20 years.

So weed them out. First question. How long have you been divorced. 1 year. Thank you for your interest but I don't date newly divorced men.

They see themselves as being broken out of prison, ready for multiple partners and not to have to commit to any women and just do what they want when they want.

Yep. It's only temporary. Remember that it's a journey for everyone.

I think 45 is going to be a game changer for me. Most people don’t want to age, but I can’t wait.

Studies show that people are most unhappy between 40-53 so you have a while to go.

It’s going to be the start of something new for me. I already begged my daughter if I can move into her dorm, she said no. ( I don’t get it) so I’ll be starting a whole new phase in my life

So you have some time to think about what kind of person you want to attract into your life.