Glutton for punishment

[BL42]

Ginger1,

Glutton for punishment….. as evidenced by opening up a new thread and talking about dating.

Glutton, I tell you.

I'm personally glad you're a glutton because it's interesting insight into the female perspective on dating. I haven't gotten much chance to weigh in to individual comments but here are some general take aways...

First, I'm shocked at how many guys you and other women on here say are creepy. Not that I don't believe you, it's just hard to wrap my head around. I know really good guys who are looking to meet woman and my perception is it's tough but that the scene is more them than the creeps, but maybe I'm just naive.

Second, I don't know why you haven't found a long term partner but it sounds like you're a wonderful mother who is making sure her daughter is cared for as a priority and that's a good thing.

Third, it seems like you do have a number of men interested (not just creeps) but for whatever reason you don't seem to be attracted to them or give them a chance.

Looks playing a factor: I am not classically beautiful. I do not have a classic basic beauty where everyone says “wow, she’s beautiful . I think I realize that within a certain subset of tastes, men are very attracted to me. I have a unique look and you either don’t like it or you love it. And sometimes it gets creepy.

Trying to figure out what you mean here. Also, can you be more specific about "creepy"? Like is it just guys who are overly interested and that turns you off, or is it really lewd and offensive behavior that is extremely inappropriate?

And I think the types I attract, I am generally not attracted to. Makes things weird.
I could see how this would be challenging.

[quote=Ginger1]Others weren’t so unattractive……. But only one or 2 made me like “dayyyuuummm” I was hoping the connection would make them more attractive to me, but the connection never came.

Does it have to be “dayyyuuummm”? Or is semi-attractive with a connection developing over time OK? If no connection develops, that's one thing...but is that based on the initial looks/vibe or deeper getting to know them?

Hiking guy is Another example. He’s been very forward about his interest in dating me and his attraction to me which he gathered from a little FB profile picture. It’s making me un easy as well. So maybe it’s not OLD. Just men in my age range trying to date? He appears to be in his 50’s. He’s not inappropriate , just very forward.

I don't know...if he's very interested in dating you is that such a bad thing? Seems like you should give it a chance. Unless you're just not into him. Perhaps if he was a “dayyyuuummm” his showing interest wouldn't be a turn off?

I’m thinking showing my interest and enthusiasm would be a positive but I also could see why she’d think, he really doesn’t know anything about me, why would he want to date me? Is that what you’re thinking?

I've seen that referenced in many online resources now too. It seems women question it when a guy seems too interested too soon because it doesn't make sense to them why he's so interested without knowing them well. But I also think sometimes those could be actual good guys who are attracted to the woman and genuinely want to make a connection and then just never get the chance because of the dynamic.

Because I’ve heard you say you want a guy who puts in the effort and wants to make time for you. So this guy is but you are getting creeped out.

Right, is he actually doing creepy & inappropriate things or are you creeped out because it seems his interest level is too high?

I also know that for some reason when the guy shows attraction and interest the girl is turned off

This is some weird counter-intuitive paradox of dating, but there also seems to be truth in it. The man showing interest turns off the woman for some reason...bizarre.

science is my jam.

Haha, love that. So great you're helping your daughter with her studies...and that she's appreciating your efforts.

And I’m hoping by 50 I am debt free and financially comfortable with the ability to travel. That’s my true goal

Great goal! Make it happen!