Glutton for punishment

[DonH]

And yes, as to the question of success - I consider myself a successful online dater even though I haven't remarried (and don't really want to).

I’d totally agree by most common definitions of success you are one of those who have been successful OLD.

I dunno - if you went to a crowded nightclub with 100 women in it and you came out with a date, wouldn't you consider that a success?

Oh heck no. If I had to approach 100 women or did approach 100 and got reject by 99, I’m not sure getting a date from #100 would make up for it. To begin with I’d likeky only be attracted or interested in 5 to 10 unless somehow the place was magically filled with the types that interest me. But striking out 99 out of 100 times can’t be he definition of success - not my definition anyhow. And that’s what some stats say about OLD at least for guys. They need to reach out to (approach IRL) 100 woman to get a response - not a date but a response. I e see. Other reports that claim like a third of guys never get a single date and others go in like two or three dates in 90 days.

Healthcare is collapsing people

Did I already say this here? Can’t remember because I’ve repeated it a lot since I heard it. But I did an interview last week for one of my clients with a rep of one of the largest hospital systems in the state who said we are moving towards a healthcare implosion - his exact words. And while some may try to blame this too on Covid (everything used to be blamed on Trump, now it’s blamed on Covid) there are multiple reasons including exactly what Ginger described. They have lost so many staff members due to again multiple reasons including mandates, that the remaining staff are being ran into the ground. I know I commented on the crazy pay being offered to try to bandaid the problem for another day. I find this extremely hard to believe but he commented in this 600 bed facility one day last week there were only 2 respiratory therapists on one shift. For me this all comes down largely to mismanagement at many levels. Not to mention all of the unintended consequences and fallout for the over the top reaction to a virus we’ve been on for nearly two flipping years now. TWO YEARS. Two weeks to flatten the curve somehow turned into two years.

Which brings me to the fact I haven’t been physically attracted to anyone in a while.

I very much relate. I’ve always been picky but it’s even more as I’ve gotten older. I am pretty good about giving someone a chance but more often than not, something prevents a solid connection. For me it’s not always physical though, it’s often personality driven. That’s why I really try to act when I do feel it. But even then it often fades for me rather quickly. I just say this to let you know that you’re not alone.

As to a guy being interested being a turn off, what’s that about? Do you think he’s making it up or faking it? I sometimes wonder… I’m thinking showing my interest and enthusiasm would be a positive but I also could see why she’d think, he really doesn’t know anything about me, why would he want to date me? Is that what you’re thinking? Because I’ve heard you say you want a guy who puts in the effort and wants to make time for you. So this guy is but you are getting creeped out. Other guys have as well but you don’t feel the attraction, which I do get but I also know that for some reason when the guy shows attraction and interest the girl is turned off.

Again I can only really speak for me self but clearly I’ve been single for much of the last 15 years for a reason. If I really wanted to change that I likely would or could. I have to wonder if there is something keeping you from feeling attraction for the guys who say they really like you and want to date you?

….. as evidenced by opening up a new thread and talking about dating. Glutton, I tell you.

And I messaged and begged You to start a new one so I could respond to the 100 women walk into a bar comment. So THANK YOU. But you also have guts and want to do better so you’re doing what it takes including opening yourself up to criticism. That may be glutton but also takes guts.