WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont10.)

[BL42]

ScottB,

LH: on the divorce actually happening, maybe disbelief isn't quite the right word. I don't know how to describe the feeling.

The word that resonates with me to describe the feeling is "surreal". It's not that I disbelieve my situation - thinking rationally I recognize it's now my life - but occasionally I'll get this out of body feeling like "how am I divorced and a single dad" and it just seems surreal (especially knowing who I am as a man and knowing other much worse situations where couples worked through things). Anyway...I wonder if that word may fit your feelings.

On her being unhinged or a lunatic - nah, I'm not going back through it. Bottomline, reading back through everything continues to let me know that its healthiest for it to end and for me to move on.

One day you'll look back and realize she did you a favor.

I've heard a lot of people say this both online and in real life - LBS's who look back years later with perspective and realize how much better off and happier they are then years prior (even though while in the midst of the situation they can't imagine that). I guess time will tell. I also wonder if they can really know that, or maybe if both parties had been willing to work through it they could've been just as happy in their marriage. But, as is pointed out here, that's not up to us.