….. as evidenced by opening up a new thread and talking about dating.
Glutton, I tell you.
Success: everyone has a different definition of success. Marriage isn’t it for me. Success is not having to continue doing it because I’m dating a lovely person. Does success only come to those who enjoy it? Again, you have to define what success is.
Looks playing a factor: I am not classically beautiful. I do not have a classic basic beauty where everyone says “wow, she’s beautiful . I think I realize that within a certain subset of tastes, men are very attracted to me. I have a unique look and you either don’t like it or you love it. And sometimes it gets creepy. And I think the types I attract, I am generally not attracted to. Makes things weird.
Which brings me to the fact I haven’t been physically attracted to anyone in a while. Just so/so. Maybe 2 guys that I dated this year. Others weren’t so unattractive……. But only one or 2 made me like “dayyyuuummm” I was hoping the connection would make them more attractive to me, but the connection never came. But one of them was cute, not classify sexy, but we had a fire chemistry . He’s the one I wish could have worked .
i have the same sentiment as bttfly. All these creepy people . It’s not a matter of having a positive attitude or “nexting” them. It’s just becomes so cringe worthy after a while. I wouldn’t want to be groped or lewdly talked to by 99 men but 1 treats me like a lady.
Hiking guy is Another example. He’s been very forward about his interest in dating me and his attraction to me which he gathered from a little FB profile picture. It’s making me un easy as well. So maybe it’s not OLD. Just men in my age range trying to date? He appears to be in his 50’s. He’s not inappropriate , just very forward.
I am not in a place to feel comfortable around men with romantic interest. Honestly, this has never happened to me and I’m sad it has come here. I’m 41 and should not have to feel I have horny teenage boys after me .
I’m other news. I’m so busy with work, it’s not even funny. Healthcare is collapsing people. We are stretched to the max. I told my boss I was leaving a mere half hour early Wednesday for my 6 week post appointment and after putting in hours above and beyond she asks me “will you be available after if work needs to be done” WTF?!? I eat through my lunch and work late , yet I now a half hour? Blow me. Our case manager manager is out sick again for a while. I am everyone’s point person. If anyone has a question they ask me, and I’m happy to help. Someone needs to vent? They ask me and I listen. I go above and beyond. Even today, I took care of a very hard case that was getting discharged on the weekend. Took care of everything so it goes smoothly. The weekend covering case manager doesn’t know her stuff and she screws it all up trying to blame it on me. The doctor who’s patient it was came to me today and said it was ridiculous and he knew I took care of it and made sure that case manager didn’t bring it to the higher ups because he knew I did everything right. I’m tired. I also volunteered to work Saturday at my other job because I’m so hard up for cash. I have D but she’s ok with me working. I offered to take her to our favorite restaurant afterward ( and it’s cheap so I’m lucky) and she was happy.
Her friends mom took D and her friend for snowboarding lessons this weekend. So out of my child’s comfort zone. But she didn’t hate it! And it was $180 and the mom wouldn’t let me pay her…… she thanked me for all I do for her daughter . It’s too much really. So I’m just going to take them to a water park on Presidents’ Day to pay them back.
And what makes me happy these days. D has a C in biology and is not a C student. I told her this time I am studying with her ( she wouldn’t let me last time and that resulted in a D on her test) science is my jam. So we went to the gym together and after dinner we started studying for Thursday’s test. We had fun doing it and she actually said “wow, mom, that really helped, thank you” we will study tomorrow and she goes to her dads the night before her test and I told her to study with her dad. She said “ I don’t have to, I’ll study alone” I said “you want to study on together in FaceTime? ( just me and her, not her dad ) and she actually said yes! First she not for too long because I barely see my dad. I said we can study before he gets home from work. I have a feeling she’s going to ace this test.
I do believe I’m a catch. I don’t know what’s going wrong. But I don’t think it is on my end. I just attract creeps. I don’t know why being single and raising a child on my own was in the cards for me, but it was. And honestly, the only real pain I feel from all of this is the financial implications. Living in my state. Being Forced out on my own at 18 with nothing, I’ve never been in a good financial position. Even when I did all the right things. I’m just praying it improves when I sell my house and move in a. Few years. It will not be due to combined finances because I’m not living with anyone until my daughter is out of my house. The only person who can make this happen is me. And I’m hoping by 50 I am debt free and financially comfortable with the ability to travel. That’s my true goal
Last edited by job; 01/11/2202:44 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
