Another year in life of

[Dawn70]

Ah so you have to get married for it to be a success. Again I think me and Deja have the same opinion about it. Even if we don't find a match we spend a night out meeting someone new so in that regards it is a success. I don't get ghosted often and when I do I certainly don't lose sleep over it. Again I am really sorry that the the experience you had was so bad that you spend your time degraded it every chance you get. Makes me a little sad. Anyhow I am glad you have a date this weekend and I hope it works out for you.

So FB hiking group message good a match.com message bad. Yeah this makes sense to me (insert LH eyeroll).

Isn't that the brunt of this entire issue? How people define success with OLD? I mean, as I say ALL the time on here, we are all different. So you say you and Deja have similar opinions, but that doesn't mean that someone who has a differing opinion isn't equally as right. For me, personally, I would consider it a success much more closely to what you and Deja think it is (a night out, meeting someone new). If I deemed it a success based solely on marriage well, I'd be batting .500. I met my first husband OLD too and we see how that worked...I'm HERE, so clearly it didn't go well. Now, you could look at that relationship and say yes well, but........ and justify and say it was a success ultimately, just like I could say my current marriage is a success, but I have had other OLD experiences with varying degrees of success. I say all that to say that everyone is likely going to claim success for their own various and sundry reasons and just because one person thinks success is marriage and another thinks it is just going on a fun date doesn't make either person wrong.

What I do know, for myself, is that if I were to find myself single again (Lord help us all if that happens), I would likely NOT OLD, though I have arguably succeeded at it in the past. I'm older now and I just wouldn't put up with the BS that I experienced in past attempts. In fact, I was about to give it up last time when Sparky popped up and I gave him a chance because he came across as a nice guy and I thought I'd just see what happened. Sure enough, he was a nice guy! And, I disagree that the biggest lie women tell is that they want a nice guy. That is ALL some women want and I know this for a fact because that is what I was looking for. OLD is full of guys who will TELL you they are nice guys then show you they are not. Just like I'm sure OLD is full of women who will tell you they just want to have fun when they are really trying to lock you down.

I think bttrfly made a good point about age certainly being a factor. I also truly think that looks is a factor. Overall attractive people have better luck. I had honest pics that showed me as I am (a big girl) and I never used filters or anything. I would have guys who would reach out to me under the guise of being a nice guy, only to exchange a few messages, then lambast me for being fat when they didn't like fat girls. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.............ok, captain douche canoe, YOU MESSAGED ME. If you don't like fat girls, don't message fat girls. I'm sure there are plenty of examples you men could give of women doing similar crazy or off-putting things. Since I am not like that, I don't see it, but I'm not communicating with women on these sites either.

My point to all this rambling is that EVERYONE has different experiences because we're all different people. I wouldn't necessarily consider my overall OLD experience a success, percentage wise, but I would consider my current one a success since that is how Sparky and I met. If someone point-blank asked me for my advice concerning OLD, I would tell them both pros and cons, but I wouldn't go out of my way to discourage them from it because I think it certainly has its place, even if that place is just to serve as a lesson in how completely whacky people can really be. LOL