I don't think it's a matter of what are you doing wrong but more a matter of what aren't you doing right. Yes yes I know when it comes to us women no matter what you do it's never enough.
I can't speak for your wife because I am not her but I will tell you that I only mind the fact that all of the housework (laundry, cooking, cleaning, childcare etc) falls on my shoulders when h isn't giving me a little of his time. Right now he is too busy to do much more than clean up after himself (in the form of putting his dish in the sink and/or putting the food away after dinner) and helping to put son (I take care of dd) to bed. I understand his lack of time and energy due to the hectic seasonal start of his business but find myself still frustrated.
Occassionally h will go on a little helpful cleaning spree..emptying the small waiste baskets etc. I appreciate it and have told him so but it's not what I want from him. I'd much rather he spend the 15 minutes adoring me or talking to me and then I would happily empty the baskets myself (among other chores).
so what the heck am I saying?
I think what a person wants and needs from their partner depends on who they are.
I want qt and physical affection, throw in some words of affirmation and I'm happy. acts of service? well they're nice and I'll accept them for what they are but I don't need them same goes for gifts...it's more the thought and time that I desire.
basic point for me h doing housework isn't going to do much but get a bit more done around here but isn't going to bring us closer together...unless of course he's helping me clean the shower while we're in it together.
