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I've always told you to go with your gut on the EA/PA issue. Their mouth may lie, but their actions won't. even my gut is in conflict on this one. I know that you want some ideas, solutions, answers, but I just don't have it in me right now. that's ok, they're really not supposed to come from anyone but myself anyway.

I have several questions which may sound strange. nothing sounds strange to me You have said that he has cut off contact with the OW who still wants to be a client. she remained a client through the first year he was home Is she a client again? as far as I know, NO If she is brought up in conversation does he defend her or acknowledge it was a mistake? he defends HER but doesn't always defend HIS mistake..she was of course the innocent party in it all If he did have a PA with her and admitted it, could you forgive him deep in your heart and move forward or would you leave? that would depend very much on how and when I found out..in other words the sooner he fesses up the better. This also assumes that he becomes a husband and not just the paycheck of the family.... of course that's a whole other issue

HFrom what I hear form you, everything is HIS, kids, house, money, possessions. when he's angry yes that is the way it's presented by him Where do you fit in his view of life? I still have yet to figure that out..other than perhaps the one who get's all the rest of the stuff done or who he has all the stuff for He does not give you the time and tenderness that a wife should have, so what does he consider you? a mother? A servant? that's how I feel a lot of the time. I wonder sometimes when I read your posts.. oh, I wonder too!

Sorry my dear for dredging all this up, and I know that you have explored this ad nausum, but sometimes you have a different perspective than you did awhile ago. I'm kinda like the weather in New England...just give me a few minutes and I might change my mind about something

((LL))

Johanna

I know my answers don't lend to much but they are what I feel right now, thanks for the visit...it's nice to know there's someone there looking out for me.

Besides, I think that we could have one he!! of a bitch session together.... might be cathartic and theraputic for both of us.
Oh I'm sure it would be!!!