When I was single, I was not so much into it because I was more of a dating with a purpose kind of person.
So when you were dating you didn't like hanging out with the guy? You didn't like having fun with the guy? You didn't like having sex with the guy? What's the point of dating then?
When I was single, I was not so much into it because I was more of a dating with a purpose kind of person.
So when you were dating you didn't like hanging out with the guy? You didn't like having fun with the guy? You didn't like having sex with the guy? What's the point of dating then?
Of course I wanted to find someone I liked to hang out with and have fun with but in order to have sex with someone, I needed an actual commitment, so one of the Hs didn't work for me without having some actual relationship structure. As I have said several times, I'm not saying HHH isn't a thing or it is bad or anything. I'm just saying it doesn't work for everyone and I'm one who it doesn't happen to work for. Not my style. Is it wrong? Not my place to say whether it is wrong for others, but it is wrong for me. If it works for you, good for you. If it doesn't work for you, good for you. Everyone is different.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
It's all good Dawn. You are an ole fashion southern girl. Why but the cow..... I have yet to date a woman who has asked for a commitment prior to sex. A few have asked if I was sleeping with anyone else but that is about it.
Northern girls especially from NJ give the milk away for free lol.
Well, there is some truth to that adage about things moving slower in the South. I think Southern boys (for the most part) missed that memo, but it is what it is. LOL
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
There's a lot of Love Avoidant guys out there. And also a hella lot of guys who'll date and sleep with a woman just because she's available and not because they have any serious interest in an actual relationship with her. The challenge for a woman dating to find a serious relationship is to weed those guys out. I've found that if a guy is seriously interested, he'll plan dates in advance, he'll put some effort in. And generally, the less available I am in the beginning, the more interested he'll be. Not that I'm any good at pretending to be unavailable, it's just that the times when I was genuinely too busy to see a new date, always seemed to increase their interest.
At this point, I plan on taking a very long - maybe permanent - break from dating. If I were to date again in the future, I might be the actual Love Avoidant right now. I like the companionship but don't particularly like actually living with someone else 24/7 (guess I'm getting set in my ways!). Sex is great but CMM's shoes would be hard to fill in that department. My life is full with friends and family and work and music. I may work on cultivating a larger friend circle rather than dating.
And also a hella lot of guys who'll date and sleep with a woman just because she's available and not because they have any serious interest in an actual relationship with her.
A lot of women do the same.
Originally Posted by kml
The challenge for a woman dating to find a serious relationship is to weed those guys out.
Yep.
Originally Posted by kml
I've found that if a guy is seriously interested, he'll plan dates in advance, he'll put some effort in.
Nailed it!
Originally Posted by kml
I like the companionship but don't particularly like actually living with someone else 24/7 (guess I'm getting set in my ways!).
So you can't date and live in separate houses?
Originally Posted by kml
Sex is great but CMM's shoes would be hard to fill in that department.
Good sex is better the no sex.
Originally Posted by kml
My life is full with friends and family and work and music. I may work on cultivating a larger friend circle rather than dating.
Originally Posted by kml I like the companionship but don't particularly like actually living with someone else 24/7 (guess I'm getting set in my ways!). So you can't date and live in separate houses?
That would be ideal - a monogamous relationship with someone who has his own place.
As for the sex - I imagine good sex is better than none, but would disappointing sex be better than none? Will I find other partners disappointing after this? I mean, I've had lots of good sex in my life, but now the bar is set awfully high. Maybe I'll be more interested in a year or so.
