A year on and standing 2

[BL42]

ToSmile,

Yesterday was the first day kids got back to school and the arrangement. My helper would normally pick them up after school but yesterday, the teacher called me half an hour past release time and no one went for my kids... In this instance, I tend to side with the helper.

Don't side with the helper OR your W. Side with the kids. Make sure you're going above and beyond to see they're cared for despite your W's flakiness.

I think you need to re-read SteveLW's advice:

I will reiterate...do not agree to dinner to discuss the D, especially when it hasn't even been filed! You guys are already disagreeing on the house, so a discussion will not go the way you want and it will not end well. Set a date. If she doesn't file before then, you go file. And then use mediation to "come to terms". Be aware, she will likely fight you on everything. It is what WWs do. So I'd highly highly highly suggest hiring a lawyer. One of the best things I did in my situation was get a consultation with wiht a lawyer. There is NO downside to getting a free consult so you can get an idea of what to expect.

You're talking to her about house valuations, house furnishings, child care arrangements, your current / future job prospects without any formal D filing or lawyers...be wary. No need to agree on these things unless you're clearly getting a good deal from her. You talk about your lawyer throughout this sitch, so hopefully you have a strong and clear understanding of what you're entitled to.

This morning, she brought up the matter of the house. Asking me what is my decision? If I would like to sell the share of the house to her, or dispose it in the open market? I told her definitely I am going for the open market choice. Because in that instance, I can free up the cash to offset the renovation and furnishing of my new place. If I sell my share to her, I will be walking away with zero profit unless she is going to compensate me for my opportunity cost.

Not sure I understand this. I don't know your history/details, but assuming you bought the house together after marriage there's a good chance you're both entitled to half the equity in the house. You can base the current value on an average of realtors estimates, or a formal appraiser, or just make it up out of thin air. This is a negotiation. I kept our martial house and my ExW suggested buying her out at a value which was $10k under our original purchase price let alone the current value which had appreciated quite a bit. OK! No-brainer. She was cheating on and divorcing me, if she didn't do her due diligence to my favor, so be it. But whether you sell it on the open market or she buys you out of the equity, you'll get your share (assuming you negotiate a fair or beneficial valuation).

She then told me that well, some of the furnishing in current home can be split between us. Which I mentioned how are we going to split the HVAC, the fridge, the cupboards etc?

Not sure I understand this either. HVAC and fridge and cupboards are typically just included in the overall house value and not pulled out separately. Furniture like beds, dressers, couches, TVs...etc can be negotiated. I was fortunate to keep the house and almost all the contents without compensation, but sometimes that's easier done for the person keeping the house. If you're intending to leave and it's possible she may stay make sure to put a value on everything and get a fair buy out. You can just write it off that value against the overall total payout at the end.

Then she asked me about my Job if I am still going to be sticking around with my current company for long as I previously did mention about making a switch and tendering. I just mention well I still intend to move but currently I am just staying put for a while more because of some projects and allowing the dust in my life to settle down about.

Then she started smiling and said that she knows the company would surely counter offer me and I would not leave. I corrected her saying nope, I did not receive or accept any counter offer but in return, my load was reduced thus why I am able to be back earlier these days to be with the kids. But I will still move on. I told her don't get it wrong that I am being comfortable in my existing company. I am still here because it offers me the flexibility to take urgent time off to handle family matters and the kids. Through this years, I am the primary person who is taking all the leaves in terms of emergencies or when the kids are not feeling unwell she was not able to. She mentioned she understand.

No need to talk to her about your job and salary and new prospects. That's none of her concern anymore. This is a negotiation and that info can go to child support and spousal support. Keep your cards close to the vest.