Well, the date with the court has been set: 10am on 2/28/2022.
I felt sad when I got that from my attorney, and maybe a little disbelief. I let some people in my support network know. I dropped my daughter off at sports and while she had practice I went back and reread the last two years worth of notes that I've made.
After nearly every interaction I had with my STBEx I would write down what happened for two reasons; 1) because she would late change the story, and 2) because I wanted to be able to recall the journey.
As I read everything, it was unbelievable how much of the blame I took for everything. It was also apparent that she is either unhinged or simply a manipulative lunatic. It was hard to comprehend all of the horrible things she said and did to me.
And that timeline didn't include the couple of year from the affair in 2016 through 11/2019.
So it needs to end. Its better for me. My life will be better.
BUT that doesn't change the impact to the kids. Holding my daughter as she cries herself to sleep on Christmas Eve, when she still believes in Santa was heart wrenching - and it doesn't matter if it will get better - it still was.
I literally just had a parent teacher conference and I feel like my son is spiraling - getting his first F ever and I learned he isn't turning in homework. He basically is no longer doing school - the Ex will say it has nothing to do with the divorce, but his change lines up 100% with it.
I feel like my daughter is at least letting it out and processing her emotions and her school and relationships are holding at a level. Today I felt that some of my concerns with my son were confirmed in that he's not showing any visible pain, but he's not doing well and I'm not sure he's even aware of the pain he's going through, I think he has disassociated from it.
He doesn't want to do counseling. We had him going but he wouldn't open up. I'm trying to spend time with him and be there for him, but this feels bigger. It makes me sad.
