it did become clear to me that divorce is "not an easy way out" and nobody really benefits from it.
Well, it's rare someone feels like they "won" financially. Often our notions of a fair division of assets and fair support are at odds at least somewhat with the legal definitions. But, there would be no divorces if everyone lost. Many on these forums ultimately filed and completed the divorce. It allows you to cut that tie with a partner who's not working--perhaps untrustworthy, unfaithful, abusive, or already in a new relationship. It makes us freer to pursue our happy solo or with another.
I love Thornton's advice about communication involving your son. He's spot on--describe your son's feelings/behaviors at your home. Share anything your son or a medical professional or his caregiver(s) told you that may be helpful and not violate trust. Resist the urge to add your own blaming or shaming (manipulation). Resist the urge to tell him what he should do about it (control).
