Quote: A lot of your feelings really hit close to home. It is somewhat comforting to know that others feel the same way that I do in questioning whether the M is really worth saving????
I can hear the pain in your posts, but also see that you are drawing strength through your own questioning.
Wishing
It's that strenght that I fear. With that strength comes the knowledge that I could and would be at least somewhat justified in someday walking away. I don't want to know that (though in some ways it is healthy).
I am just saddend that seemingly the only way to keep h's attention is to act like I don't want to be here or don't want him around. Pretty damn ironic considering he once gave justification for his a by claiming that I didn't like him anyway.
it all just feels to childish to me. I just want to be loving and be loved..what's so hard about that. why when I am loving toward h does he retreat. Why when I am angry and cold to h does he then attempt to be loving. It's all just sickening. A dance that I grow tired of.
