Quote: Workaholics are tough to be married to as most of their emtional energy goes to the job. The spouse is often shorted emotional involvement because it's all been used by everyone else. You and the kids need and deserve it too.
what I find completely ironic is the fact that ow's exuse for having the a with my h was that her h was "emotionally unavailble"...did my h not learn what a financially well provided for lonely woman is capable of? no, no he'll hear none of that.
and of course there is the fact that I was doing my best to accept h's desire to fill the role of provider..I accepted that as his way, accepted (though admittedly not always happily) that as his way of showing his love for us...but in the end he did have some time and energy to give to an emotional (and maybe physical who will ever know the truth) relationship with someone else...it just wasn't and seems to continue to not be me.
That is the part that hurts the most...you see when I first discovered the ow I wanted out...after all I wasn't happy to begin with so why should I accept that...but then h started to come alive...he was more attentive..more active with the kids...we started to date regularly and heck even have sex with some regularity too..but there were feelings I was having that I coulnd't just shove asside..I was angry about the ow (and suspected she wasn't gone since after all he refused to end the "friendship" with her) and resentful that all of a sudden my h was being the h I always knew he could be..it scared me, it confused me but I did enjoy it..then he left....his return once again showed me what he was capable of giving to a r...but of course it ended.
I'm tired of trying to figure it out.
I can't be anyone I'm not. I can't be a foolish simple little chearleader happy to cheer for the player who just plays his game and barely gives recognition to the backflips she does in his honor. I always hated the cheerleader types anyway..not out of jelousy cause I was always much more than they could dream to be anyway..but because of their ignorant simplistic way of life. (no offense to any cheerleaders here...I do admire the athletic ability..I'm talking about the steroetypical cheerleader here) thing is ow was/is that type...heck she even made posters of the work he did at her house...come to think of it...he'd have been much better off with her...ah but then again he'd just have worked and worked and then she'd have had an a with the electrition or the pool guy so would he be better off?
aw f it!
Thanks for stopping by johanna...I know you understand my plight and that I'm not just some sniveling brat who can never be satisfied.
