I’ll definitely fill you in on the date. I have no expectations. I am realizing when I go to date someone, the first thing that runs through my mind is it if it does workout, my plans of moving might be derailed. Do I just stay single for the next 3 .5 years? Or I can just let life happen and see where it takes me
I found out today that the floor nurses are making $12 / hr extra plus a $300 shift bonus. I want to take advantage of this, but I’m scared. I’m scared of going back to the bedside after so long. Seriously nervous. I’m also scared that I don’t have enough energy in these bones to do both jobs. I need the money . But I’m absolutely terrified
Plus, there is the covid post I’ve patient who was swinging at the staff, slit at them and made homicidal threats such as “ wait until you are staring down the barrel of my AK -40” and “I’d love to see a bullet in that pretty neck” “you f’ers are crazy if you think you can cure covid” unvaccinated of course. And I said to myself “ maybe he should die “
Can I handle it all? I don’t think I can .
G, because someone is spewing hateful comments is a far step from thinking another human being should die. This shocks and saddens me. This is a human being. His actions are hateful, but he's still a human being. There is always a chance for grace to come in and this man to completely turn his life around. You're better than this, G. So much better than this. I get that you're exhausted, burnt out and scared. Don't lose sight of your or anyone else's humanity.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
