WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont10.)

[SteveLW]

SteveLW: Interesting comment on the regrets related to dating. What are the reasons you have seen?

The ones I can think of would be that it ruins a shot at reconciliation (I'm not concerned), the blame game (I have video of her in the back seat of a car with the OM - so she doesn't want to go there), possibly getting somewhere pregnant (an actual concern), some strange impact on the children (also a concern), potentially using it as a bandaid to avoid doing the work (I do feel like I'm doing pretty good, so I'm not too worried about this), jumping into something serious right away (not planning on it - trying to take it slow and just enjoy this time in life).

I 100% understand the concern, and I have the ones I have outlined above, but overall the benefits in regards to happiness and allowing me to move forward outweigh the negatives from my perspective at this time.

I had shut dating down but this just kind of happened.

And to everyone - thanks for the encouragement.

The reasons were for what I stated. That she could point to it, to your kids, as a "your dad dated before we were D'd, he wanted the D". So unless you are going to whip the video out and show your kids (something I would highly recommend you not do!), it is always best to be able to say, "I was with no one else until we were D'd." Again, it seems innocent but you would not believe the WAS' ability to rewrite history, twist things, and generally take anything you do not do by the boards as an opportunity to bash you.

So yes, I've seen LBSs that have dated too early, and then regretted it when it was held against them. You could put this into the category of "strange impact on the chidren". So that is why I saw take it slow. Be casual. Tell anyone that may be interested that for moral and ethical reasons you want to take it slow and not get serious until the D is finalized. Anyone that is worth it will be willing to wait. Just my opinion. That and $3.99 will get you a Popeye's chicken sandwich.