WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont10.)

[SteveLW]

Quick update: Holidays went fine. Celebrated Christmas separately this year, and it went fine. My daughter cried as she went to bed on Christmas Eve because she was sad it was split - that sucked. I just tried to tell her it was okay to be sad and was with her in it.

That was really the only hiccup.

To be expected. You handled well. This will become her new normal. She won't necessarily be okay with it ever, but she will tolerate and get used to it. But, this isn't your choice, you didn't make this decision, and your daughter will eventually realize that you were the one that wanted to keep it together. Just keep being the best dad you can be!

Haven’t interacted with the ex much at all - which is how it’s really been all year. I bet we’ve spoken two or three times in 2021. All the paperwork has been signed, and I think her attorney is supposed to submit it, but I haven’t been updated on that yet.

Great. The space will help you heal. Hopefully she remains distant and the interactions will be minor. The person that didn't want the split has the hardest time moving forward, and each time you interact it can set you back. Do your best to keep the interactions to a minimum.

This month I’m doing a spiritual retreat next weekend and then two weeks later going to FL for a weekend. End of Feb I’m taking the kids to Park City.

Nothing but awesomeness here!

Emotionally I was good during the holidays, a little sad at the situation but I think it’s ok to be sad. Divorce is sad. All and all I’d say things are pretty good.

To be expected. See my response above about limited interaction. Time and distance will help.

On the dating front, I think I had mentioned that I had decided to take a break but I was introduced to someone that I’ve been seeing. It’s been fun and I’m trying just to stay in the present with it. Anyhow, that’s about it for now. Happy New Year.

My only advice is to take it slow. Obviously you are over the thick of your sitch so morally I do not see a problem with dating. However, the reason I say to take it slow is because your D is not final. Do not overlook the potential for your STBXW to point to you dating prior to the D as "proof" you wanted the D. The rewriting of history on her end will continue post D. This is why I advise LBSs to wait until the ink is dry on the finalized D before dating. So many cannot do that and regret it later.