Quote: Can you remember some good times since he has been home? Surely you can.
Nitaf [/quot
Of course there have been some good times since his return however the best times were when he first came home...an illusion of a new and improved and ever improving relationship with two growing individuals...occassional times of reflextion and addmittence of a certain arrogance and desire to change on both parts. That has subsided and seems to be a back to the same ole same ole.
I'm sure if I sat and thought long and hard I'd find glimpses of good times here and there still occuring but should it be that way? should a person in a marriage have to think long and hard to find some good times or manipulate their thinking to say "well that was actually a pretty good day" or should there just be good times occuring on a somewhat regular basis?
When h first came home (he didn't actually just come home, as stated in previous post he kept his apartment for a long while and just eventually stopped staying there until he finally gave it over to his parents who where leaving the apartment that had been in) there were certain things I knew needed to change for the r to thrive and he was pretty adimant about NOT making those changes..one being that we needed to set asside regular time for us. well guess what? that regular time for us hasn't come and our relationship seems to once again be on a track to distruction if it even exists at all. I don't like feeling like h could just be anyone..I'd like to feel a certain connection with my h and I'm sorry to say that I don't..even sorrier to say that "connection" is something he was also seeking and found in ow. Of course at this point ow seems irrelevant cept to say he spent the time to foster a connection with her but can't seem to commit the time with me. Does that say we just aren't compatable? perhaps but saying that would make me sound like the opening lines in Michelles chapters on was so I wont open myself up for bashing here.
I don't know that without any open effort and commitment to improvement from h that this m will survive the long haul. Maybe one day my h will end up like tonyp and be surprized to learn that 25years after his own affair and just getting ready to settle down and enjoy the benifits of working so hard find himself without his wife.
Of course like most h's of waw's my h wont hear any of it...his arrogance leaves him making statments like "why don't you go find some guy who can meet all your needs" (as if I'm asking for so much) or "no matter what I do it's never enough" or "you don't know how good you've got it" or many other arrogant pompous statments that just push me further and further away from him.
