WW: "I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty"

[BL42]

Drh2001,

I've heard it's difficult to find single childless women if you're a single father, is this really true?

I have not found it to be. I date about as many women with kids as without kids. If they’re 40s and have no kids, there’s usually a reason for that they’ve accepted. E.g., unable, ethically prefer not to add to world population, prioritizing other activities, etc.

I'm not sure "childless" is a good criteria. Date single women. If the right one has kids of her own, so be it. Not sure how'd you feel if you meet someone you like and she says "if only you didn't have kids".

I'm sure it's a factor. Before marriage I definitely preferred women who had not been previously married and did not have kids, so I'm sure there are woman out there today who aren't looking to date a single father (and probably more so the childless women with that preference than those who already have kids), but then there are also those who are open to it.

In terms of your preference, it's like any factor you're filtering on...it simply reduces the options. Just as if you only wanted a certain hair color, or height range, or religion...whatever. Anytime you place a constraint on the search you get fewer results. And in the dating pool at our age there are a higher percentage of women with kids than when we were ten years younger. But it doesn't mean you can't find someone who fits your needs.

I'm taking the SteveLW approach. Single is a requirement, but not ruling out women with kids - for me it seems tough to take that stance when I myself have them - and they may actually be more understanding and fit in with my life and situation because of it.

I don't think I want to get married ever again, not after what WW did to me.

That baggage could be problematic, though. Nobody likes to be treated a certain way because of what someone else did to you. Try to process that trauma.

I agree with CWarrior. It's understandable some folks here might be tentative about remarrying, but assume the majority of folks in the dating pool are looking to get married at some point so by ruling it out completely it takes away options (or sets someone up to be hurt).