Thank you all, I read through everything in Cadet's welcome post, and it's been beneficial.
Ovrrnbw, you're right. I keep trying to understand what he is thinking, but I don't know what is true and what isn't anymore. Can that trust ever come back?
CWarrior, interesting perspective: not ruling out filing myself. This doesn't feel like a M I want to be in anymore. I want what we had back, or something better, but not this. I suppose that if things ultimately do not change, I may want to consider filing myself. I read up on boundaries, and two for me are that I need a partner who is 1) truthful and 2) continues communicating with me, even when there are difficulties.
BL42, I'm still meeting with the lawyer on Monday for a consultation. I feel very sad about this, but I have to remember that I did not cause any of it (though I'll admit I did contribute).
I'm just really happy the holidays are over. I did not accept any invites because none of them felt like safe places where I could bring my sad self and my son (who doesn't quite conform to holiday etiquette). I did invite good friends to our house, but one of them caught Covid. I wasn't even sad about that, because it meant I didn't have to prepare anything.
But now it's 2022, and I know I have to come out of hiding. We have (social) plans for tomorrow, and then I go back to work on Monday. My hope for 2022 is to gain more connections with others and more clarity.
