WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Divorced Anyway (6)

[BL42]

LH,

I've made a lot of progress over the last almost two years. Going from severely depressed and begging/clinging during BD/Affair/IHS desperate to keep my family together, to handling the eventual physical separation and divorce somewhat gracefully with ExW, to pivoting my focus on improving myself and striving as a single father.

I'm at a point now where I don't long for (or even wish) ExW to come back. In fact, I can't even imagine taking her back at this point (granted I can't see her wanting to either) because it would be a nearly impossible pill to swallow.

However, there is still part of me that is hurt and angry and would like to see her get some karma and comeuppance for the way she's treating me, our children, our family.

The truth is I do get some solace and satisfaction in hearing her standing with current employer is derailed, and there is a part of me that would like to notify her potential new employer of her actions and cause her more angst on the career front. The truth is I would love to hear hear things didn't work out with OM2, and part of me would even like to play a hand in that, say by sending him and his family my evidence of ExW's affair with OM1.

To me, loving detachment is getting to the point where I'm no longer reveling in her setbacks or imaging some revenge in my mind, but rather be un-invested in ExW's successes or failures and unemotionally responding to them. It's not giving any mind space or time of day to her outcomes, not getting worked up about certain triggers, and having more grace in treating ExW with greater compassion (in the limited interactions we have).

I do think I've made a lot of progress overall, but if I'm being honest with myself (and all of you) there's still some work to be done in this area.