I am sorry to hear you sounding so down, and I can indentify so much with what you have written, about trying to do your best by your family - husband and kids, and feeling so let down.
I had pretty much the same experience - felt I was bending over backwards to do my best, and all H could say was "I am paying for eveything around here," so basically he calls the shots and everything is *his*.
But he thinks at the same time that he is sort of feminist - never said so, but in his weasily way takes credit for 'gedding it', ha.
This is the man who informed me last year his project (which hasn't happened) in my country of origin was about 'women in society'. I am afraid I just laughed to myself. It is so embarassing. Why don't people look to putting their own house in order before trying, nobly, to criticise/change the world?
LL, my H was brought up by two montsters of selfishness, and I fear that it has made him into one. My H sees no 'value' at all in the things I do - cooking healthy meals, having sit down meals, not using the TV as a babysitter, encouraging D to take up extra curricular activities (very few in school here in this country), encouraging politeness, trying to set an example to D, rather than just telling her what to do. etc.
If your H is oblivious to all that you do for your kids and him, I suspect he was brought up in a family that didn't value these things. If this is so, I am not sure this info helps you, save to be a little forgiving towards H by understanding where he is coming from, not personalise it.
If you pop over to my thread you will see that while my H has shed crocodile tears about not seeing D for long stretches, I found out he was staying in the city this week, didn't say where, but has NOT been in touch with D, didn't mention that he is just a couple of miles away. She said, I won't see Daddy this weekend, and I had to refrain from telling her he was just down the road and didn't bother to let us know, as it would have hurt her so.
LL, I can only suggest that you try to shift the focus of your life right now onto yourself a little more - get out and about, either with some part time work or other outside activity, that gives you some satisfaction and control. You know you are doing your best for your kids and they WILL appreciate that in time to come. If your own mood shifts to someting happier, you may just draw your H back to you.
Please don't think we are all like getoverit. I too noticed he has posted all of three times, months/years apart!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
