Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again #4

[BL42]

smilie,

Welcome back. It's been a few months. Sorry to hear life has been such a struggle. This situation everyone around here has been in is incredibly difficult. I certainly feel for you. However, rest assured, if you focus on yourself and improving your life you will get through it and it will be way in your rear view mirror at some point in the future.

As far as the business stuff goes, I can't do anything with that at the moment due to court stuff as the stbxw playing evil games. Just the hint of anything like that and it will end my chances of hoping to get any further maintenance.

I thought spousal maintenance was already ordered for a certain amount and timeframe? Would you getting a job or starting a business change that? I would think you being out of work for 7 years during the marriage would be a big factor, despite your employment going forward. However, even if it would reduce or stop maintenance might it be better to pursue your own income regardless? It might be empowering and you can't live off your Ex forever.

Her game is two-fold; 1) Smear campaign against me continually, trying to make out what a loser I am, how I never wanted anything to do with money and how I am pretending to be ill

Lots of stories are told in divorce situations, especially by the WAS/WS. Maybe it's her perception, maybe it's a lie...unfortunately either way you can't change it. You can only know and tell your own truth.

2) Demand thousands from me that I don't have £17k to be exact.

What are her grounds for the demand? Thought I remember you saying she cleared out the accounts on you which, if that's the case, seems like you'd be entitled to some of what she took.

Anyway, it took me until November to find a new place to live in a different part of the country and it is nice to be away from where she is. It is certainly helping me detach finally from her.

I think it's good you moved away. Like you said it'll help with detachment not running into her or familiar places. You can make a fresh start.

stbxw playing evil games

All the other time I was answering the relentless phone calls from the so-called health services that were intent on giving me grief just for asking for help, and looking for somewhere to live...My experience with the health services was disgusting...They were very abusive towards me and made my entire situation so much worse

I had neighbours spying on me on her behalf, feeding back information to her and pretending to care (flying monkeys?). The entire thing had left me so paranoid.

My lawyer was also a cause for concern and I sacked her.

smilie - I'll be honest. I don't know you personally or your situation more than what you shared here, so maybe I'm off-base, but I see a lot of being the victim and blame of other people in your posts but not a lot of self-reflection. You blame your stbxw for being evil. You blame your country's health services for not giving you housing and mental care you feel entitled to. You blame your neighbors for spying on you. You blame your first lawyer for not being good.

Maybe all of that is warranted. However, even if it is there's nothing you can do about it. All you can do is focus on yourself. Maybe some self-reflection and self-improvement would be time better spent? You don't have to answer or explain here, just think on it. You'll see "don't be a victim" mentioned frequently on this board. Even if we were all a victim in some way, it doesn't help to dwell on it going forward. Better to get mentally strong and flip the mindset and empower your life going forward.

Don't mean to seem harsh. Just trying to help. Hope you had a good Christmas as well.