Picking Up the Pieces After WAW Goes Again #4

[smilie]

Hey smilie! Now that the court has deemed support payments of £800/month as a fair and ordered amount you can count on, and you're free to move or start your own business, how are things going?

Hey there! Thanks for checking in. Life has been such a struggle and I have been getting nothing but abuse from all angles.

As far as the business stuff goes, I can't do anything with that at the moment due to court stuff as the stbxw playing evil games. Just the hint of anything like that and it will end my chances of hoping to get any further maintenance. I can't even see if things will work out as it will be used as an excuse that I can work. I never have experienced anything like this and whatever anybody else says, it's straight out of the covert narcissists toolbox. She is beyond evil at this stage.

Her game is two-fold; 1) Smear campaign against me continually, trying to make out what a loser I am, how I never wanted anything to do with money and how I am pretending to be ill and 2) Demand thousands from me that I don't have £17k to be exact.

I light of this, she has just submitted a 296-page response to 20 questions that my lawyer asked as part of the financial disclosure - she has told me she has never known anything like it.

Despite what some of the people here were insinuating, since July I have been looking fulltime for somewhere to live, only sleeping an hour each night, going for a tea at a local church 3 times a week for an hour or two. I wasn't eating properly (still not). All the other time I was answering the relentless phone calls from the so-called health services that were intent on giving me grief just for asking for help, and looking for somewhere to live. I was also trying to get social housing and obtain counselling, but to get housing I had to be evicted and they pulled counselling because I was too anxious - something I have never heard in my life and something that the counsellor I now have has never heard in her life. My experience with the health services was disgusting and I have since found that they are the lowest ranked health/mental health service in the country and are under special measures. They were very abusive towards me and made my entire situation so much worse. Anyway, it took me until November to find a new place to live in a different part of the country and it is nice to be away from where she is. It is certainly helping me detach finally from her. I had neighbours spying on me on her behalf, feeding back information to her and pretending to care (flying monkeys?). The entire thing had left me so paranoid.

I am now at the stage where I can try to rebuild my life and as SteveLW had previously said, I am hardly trying to preserve the Status Quo - why would I? I was in a hell of a place with my position being made constantly worse on a daily basis and I was living it. I have moved now and have my own space, but still worried so much about money.

My lawyer was also a cause for concern and I sacked her. My new one is much better and isn't intent on making as much money as possible from a person with a neurological condition - which I recently had re-diagnosed. I have spent since 2017 with the incorrect diagnosis.

Anyway, that's a quick update. I felt that as time went on nobody was really understanding what was happening and I can quite understand it. This entire thing is an absolute nightmare and one that I cannot believe I am living. It is pure hell. She is pure evil, from the day she left she was intent on destroying me for some unknown reason. But it fits with everything that I have learned about covert narcissistic behaviour since and I can see now how manipulated I was during the relationship, especially since I have been ill.

I was nothing more than a target for her to take everything from emotionally and financially - once she took all that years before she left, she carries on trying to destroy me for no reason whatsoever - that is not how people {should} treat each other. Luckily, I am now not the only one that can see it. Others are noticing and my lawyer can clearly see the unreasonable behaviour at every turn. It's truly disgusting!

I hope you have all had a good Christmas...