tired

[Livnlearn]

it seems that because h is the one that makes the money the house is HIS, the money is HIS...after all he sent me on the vaca didn't he? gee I thought it was my money too?

Lost Love

I heard the very same things from my H. I should have heard the alarm bells clanging loudly when in the year before the bomb my H questioned me having a second chocolate in a cafe by making the money gesture of rubbing his fingers together in my face. This from the man who only ever buys the best for himself.

Funny how not so long ago a man did everything to keep his wife from working and basically having a life outside the home, and 'competing' with him. Now we have the scenario of men wanting their wives to work so as to lessen the pressure on themselves for being the breadwinner, but without the corresponding evening out of childcare and household duties.

In my case, this year apart has brought into focus a little the different ways that we handle money, even if we don't earn it equally easily. H can observe, should he wish to, how much he is responsible for our money situation, and how much was down to me 'doing nothing'.

I too am one of those who cooks real food, thinks it is important to sit down together for meals, likes to spend time with my own child rather than farm out to "childcare", and I believe that the living example we set our daughter is far more important than all the dicipline or instruction in the world.

Lost love, I know you are tired, and I don't know the logistics of your situation, but is there a possibility you could work part time? It might get you away from thinking and living and breathing the home environment 24/7, and it may feel to your H that the pressure is off him? Are there really money issues, or is it just a power trip for your H?

Just throwing out a thought.

Livnlearn