Onward #2

[AndrewP]

That's pretty funny about your ex crawling across the floor. What were the papers she was so desperate to steal?

The night before she had told me she was moving out and that we were now "separated". I showed her a copy of the pre-filled out divorce papers with infidelity as the cause and she was - er - rather upset and threw her wedding ring at me. Only to pick it up and put it back on when I apologized. I'm pretty sure that she was looking for the divorce papers and any supporting documentation.

My own opinion is that she was first off horrified of anyone finding out she was having an affair and that secondly she was very concerned that she had lost control of me and my brain. She knew that I always researched things and usually had a main plan and one or more backup plans. And this time she was no longer privy to what those plans were. I'm also pretty confident that she was sure that she could just move back in on a whim and to be honest, she probably could have in those first few months. I was very devoted to her. And she was always careful to be firmly in control.

I have another video of my son coming into the office around Christmas that first year talking to someone on his phone, picking up a new ornament from my desk, leaving the room and then carefully putting it back where he picked it up.

I have recording too of her coming into the house when I was visiting my daughter who was then living in Virginia. This was the following spring and she provided me with no notice before or after. I had the camera on an old laptop in the office going so it was inconspicuous. It was funny seeing her rummaging around here and there and then coming back trying to find that cats that she thought she'd locked in. The coldness in her eyes and the arrogant posture and pose she had was certainly off-putting. And there were ways into the house that bypassed the camera too - I'm pretty confident that she's lurked and checked things out numerous times especially that first year. There was another episode where some of my wine bottles were broken in the cellar and partially cleaned up.

I have no idea if she would dare come in to the house now knowing that I live alone but she would also undoubtedly be well aware that I have replaced the old cameras with new. When my son moved home I (largely) decommissioned the cameras I had then. The "lurking in the shrubberies" incident was at least 2 years ago and that I think was to check out B who had moved in. I remain confident that my son keeps her up to date assuming that she is asking which I think would be a safe bet.

Not that there's really anything to see anyway. In many ways I'm right where she left me. Single, still in the same house, more or less the same job, same friends. I am more or less the same guy. Different haircut, a few more wrinkles but more or less the same albeit perhaps more cynical on the motivations of others.

I've not written about it in some time, but I think that in some cases that us "LBS" are considered the "property" of the "WS" - and undoubtedly the other way around - and signs of moving on or changes can be upsetting. Perhaps another topic though.