A year on and standing 2

[SteveLW]

Been signing up for courses and intend to carry out career transition into another industry.

Trying to stay relevant and ahead of the industry 4.0 and also my current job is taking up way too much of my time. To the extent that GAL seems to be mingling with my colleagues with the extended meetings post office hours that frequently eats into my exercise time too.

I have one question about DB. Might seems kinda weird to ask it now… but we are staying under one roof. When we bump into each other, do I give a cordial greeting or do I turn a blind eye on her? And if I leave the house, do I bid goodbye?

Reason I ask is, sometimes when I said good night or good bye, I get a response. Other times, I do not and as if I am talking to the air. I just thought it’s being courteous. But if this is an uncalled action during DB, I rather not do it. What’s your opinion?

So in both of my sitches we were IHS. So I contemplated this a lot. The answer is to do what works for you. In general, letting her be the one to initiate is the best approach, but if you cannot do that without seeming like you are purposely ignoring her then I would suggest just a courteous, short greeting......with (THIS IS THE KEY) no expectation that she will respond. Kind of like when you tell someone something quick where no response is necessary. "Good morning." "Good evening." "Goodnight." Same with leaving the house. Do not seek her out to say goodbye, but if you come across her as you are heading out just a short "I am heading out. Bye." (Note, never tell her where you are going or doing!) With no expectation of acknowledgment or response.

The key is the no expectation. If she doesn't respond or give the same courtesy and that bothers you then drop the greetings and byes entirely! If she greets you or says goodbye, a cheerful response "Good morning!" or "Okay, goodbye!" is appropriate.

Look, IHS is tough. Maintaining proper DB techniques can seem cold, callous, and wrong. But remember that she is the one that asking for more space and walking away, so by backing off and not extending greetings or goodbyes is simply giving her what she has asked for. The key is to be upbeat, cheerful, fulfilled and pleased when she DOES engage. What you don't do isn't going to make things worse, so if that is your fear then you can drop that.

tldr; No expectations is key! If you can greet her and say goodbye without expectations, then that is ok. If it stings you every time she ignores you, then drop the greetings and goodbyes unless she says it first.