I do not post in the MLC forum much because I am not a big believer in MLC per se. I believe every long term marriage has an MLC component to it where a spouse wakes up one day and says "is this all there is to life". Healthy people will work there way through it and unhealthy people will run searching for happiness.
What made me post was reading you say "change my tactics". There are no tactics to apply it's a journey that must be taken. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change the course of his direction and that is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow. I see a lot of cake eating which if you read my posts I am not a fan of. I also see you letting him off the hook for having affairs and destroying your family. Certainly your choice but I would want him to have to wrestle with that for a really long time.
If you are being honest and you have zero expectations then I think you are on the right path to having a potential friendship after the marriage.
Again just my opinion. I wish you peace and happiness.
