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Hey LL,
So, big question...how was vacation??? I hope it was AWESOME!

Yes it was!! I had so much fun..if you have never taken a cruise I highly recomend it...the best way to travel so much to do and see but you have to dicipline yourself to get off the ship while your at the island.

So...what was the triggering event? Am I misreading...sounds like something about the arrival home and perhaps h's lackluster response set the wheels in motion?

Sage






The wheels have been in motion for some time, you may recolect my posts prior to leaving for the trip (on the breaking the rules thread) and of course my depature was made less than pleasurable as well.

I left on mothers day. H and the kids took me to my moms where the hired driver would then take us to the peir...well son (who is just 5 mind you) was being a bit reluctant to kiss his 78 year old great grandmother and h made a big stinkin' fuss over it...annoying my grandmother, mother and myself. We seem to understand the phase little boys go through and don't take offense to it..what we took offense to was h being so stern with son that it made us all misserable...I had quietly asked (after both my mother and grandmother stated it was honestly not a big deal and they understood son) that h just let it go so we could enjoy a little bit of mothers day but he didn't and instead chose to continue to be overly stern with son demandning he kiss great grandmother or not get any munchkins and milk and was then pissy with me for not agreeing with him though I did it privately. H then abruptly swept son and dd off to the car just as I answered a phone call from my father wishing me a happy mothers day and enjoyable cruise.

yes, I then did say a few things I shouldn't have but wtf?

when I called home from the ship h was distant and sounded like he was talking to a stranger. When he picked me up at mothers house yesterday he greeted mom with a kiss, moms bf with a kiss and then me with a distant kiss less friendly than that he just given my mother. We returned home I handed out the gifts I had purchased for the kids, h, mil, grand mil and fil...h then sat at the puter for a long while...mil and grand mil decided it time to leave so I set out about straightening up the house, putting laundry away etc. H came up to do I don't know what and as I was on my way down the stairs called from the bedroom saying "hey, come in here" I just kept walking but then returned...he gave me a real kiss but then the kids started making a ruccuss so I turned and walked back down stairs..h then put on his boots and spent the next 4 hours mowing the lawn (and later admitted that was a screw you I'll just go cut the lawn type of thing) he didn't get back into the house until I was already giving dd a bath.

h was aparently expecting an appology from me for mothers day and refuses to see how he may need to offer up apologies himself for making such a fuss and ruining the short mothers day I had with the kids.
the rest is just a bunch of bs and there is no point in hashing through it all..the facts are what they are...

h was right to leave 2 years ago when he did...neither of us were happy and nothing was changing (well other than the fact that he was making himself happy with ow)

h shouldn't have come home as he hasn't bothered to change anything (other than getting rid of ow) and aparently expects me to do all the changing.

The things h said last night simply verify the way I feel...h talks about me not respecting him? what a crock of bs. He is living in the wrong era...or perhaps with someone of the wrong ethnicity..I am not his mother or his grandmother and I do not believe all that a h need do is provide monitarily and a womans job is to cook and clean and make life comfortable for him.

honestly if he were to leave tommorow I'd probably breathe a sigh of relief. I'd ache for my children but not for myself...I've tried for so damn long that I'm dying inside.

LL