Out of the bottle

[BL42]

Magnhild,

I'm looking forward to hearing your first few actions now that you're buckling down to it!

Actions
1. Find a new job. I told my boss today that I will be looking around. I'll find out in the next few days if my recent application will match current salary. To see STBXW every day (we work in the same school) is just too hard. My Headteacher came to see me today to say he really doesn't want to lose me and use the Christmas holiday to reconsider. It's nice to be wanted
2. Continue the gym. I've gone from 74kg to 60kg since BD, and will start training in the New Year for another 5K. Then maybe a 10K. The who knows... maybe further!
3. Continue using my validation skills on friends, kids and colleagues. It's great to see how this helps the other person.
4. Pack my bags for a fabulous holiday in Mexico over Christmas.
5. Keep reminding myself there must be a reason for all this and to keep optimistic about the future with all its possibilities.
6. Stop reading too many situations on this board.
7. Pack up any of STBXW's stuff that remain in the house and put in the garage.
8. Continue not drinking at home. Very proud of myself for that.

Great list! Especially #2, 4 & 7! Make it happen!

Do you have a plan on how you can you break this unhealthy pattern from happening in the future?

Although I feel her comment about me being controlling and manipulating was a tad harsh, I accept this is how she feels. I am careful how my words & actions may appear that way to others.

I reiterate that I think she's emotionally manipulating you with this in school check-ins. Finding a new job/school is one way to deal with it, and if that's a good path for your life by all means go for it, but also you shouldn't have to leave your job because you're being harassed with a personal situation in the workplace. Your supervisor and HR should be able to step in at some point and make it clear she doesn't "bop in" any more.